Welcome to Mom Motivation Mondays where weekly contributing writers share their motherhood experiences to encourage you to find the joy in being a mom.

{This week: Post by Jaimi}

I just wanted a break from motherhood. I had been up since 2AM. My toddler did not need sleep-apparently! The wake-up call for the day happened at a time when during my college years I would just have been going to bed.

But this is adulthood. Adulthood with kids and a husband who was working Monday through Friday 3 hours away and not coming home at night during the week. There was no ‘normal’ in our lifestyle when Daddy was often gone, then home for a day, then gone again.

I hit a wall. I have reached my patience limit many days when the job of parenting falls all on me without the relief at dinner time of Daddy walking in the front door. Just his presence in the evening, his adult conversation, the extra hands to help makes the last hours of the day feel easier-most days.

Daddy was working away, so he wasn’t coming home that night. When mommy (that would be me) had to start her day at 2 AM, dinner time felt like it took an eternity to reach.

By dinner, I was running on fumes. I tried to have a conversation with my husband on the phone. It was not working. In my house, putting the phone up to my ear is the sign for the kids to ask me for something to eat, or suddenly need a referee. I had to end the conversation abruptly because trying to hear him was not working over the kid noise.

While reading books to the kids during our bedtime routine, I could feel my brain want to completely turn off. I cherished the cuddles and snuggles while we read together-2 books, then a story out of the Children’s Bible-if we don’t get to the Bible, my son has a fit. (That should probably be viewed as a good thing.)

Bedtime completed.

Kids asleep.

I finally could get ready for bed myself and all I wanted to do was read alone.

The Beautiful Mess of Motherhood

It was not until I sat reading in my own bed after the children were asleep that I came across a quote that hit me. It brought tears to my eyes after a very draining day. In a way those words and my tears opened my eyes to the beauty that exists in the mess of motherhood.

“My God, against all odds, made me a mother. There aren’t enough words to acknowledge what that means to me.”

–Susan Besze Wallace from the Acknowledgments section in the book Always There: Reflections for Mom’s on God’s Presence

 

“There aren’t enough words…”

The day has been long. Without my husband home at dinner time, there was no way to mark the day’s end. My frustration level reached its max too many times, and I did not remain calm cool and collected through it all.

After reading this quote I realized I was focusing too much on me.

Yes, I NEED sleep to be healthy, but not as much as I think most days.

No, we DO NOT typically wake up at 2AM.

God MADE ME A MOTHER.

HE knows I can do it, get through it, and make it count if I am open to the lessons it provides.

“God never gives you more than you can handle,” is what my parents always said when I was growing up.

We may have had the tv on too much when I just needed a breather.

I may have had a short patience level at times.

But, the majority of the day, we were together. Working through the troubles. Learning from each other what the next step needed to be-and I never gave up on my kids.

I still performed my job as mom that God gave to me-a job of service, immeasurable humility and requiring great strength. I don’t always feel that I do it with the most grace, but Faith I have plenty of.

Sleep will happen-eventually. Children will have their needs met no matter how sleep-deprived I am. My strength is not refueled by me alone. There are plenty of women without children that would take on my challenges to experience all the hugs and love paid out in return.

There definitely are not enough words to explain the kind of gratitude I feel for the opportunity to face the challenges of motherhood every day. I can’t handle the calling of being a mom on my own. I am not doing it alone.

There just aren’t enough words to express what that means.

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